What do you get when you have Broomhilda on the beach with a turkey?
A turkey sand-witch!
What do you get when you cross a turkey with a banjo?
A turkey that plucks himself.
What goes “gobble, gobble” and can see just as well from one end as from the other end?
A turkey with his eyes shut
What goes “gobble, gobble, BOOM!?”
A turkey in a mine field
What goes, “gobble, gobble, ha-ha-ha BOOM!?”
A turkey exploding with laughter
What goes “gobble, gobble, ha-ha-ha PLOP!?”
A turkey laughing his head off
What’s full of raisins and is on a secret mission?
Mince spy
What’s red and round and goes up and down, up and down?
A cranberry on an elevator.
What’s orange and falls off walls?
Humptey Pumpkin
What did John Alden wear on his feet?
Plymouth Socks
What always comes at the end of Thanksgiving?
The letter G
Why is a turkey on Thanksgiving like a ghost the day after Halloween?
Because he’s gone today, but just the day before he was a-gobblin.
What’s round, red and shocking?
An electric cranberry
If twenty Thanksgiving turkeys told terrible tales, how many “t’s” would there be in all?
If you said 7 you are wrong! The answer is is 0 (zero} because there are no T’s in the word ALL.
Why don’t you eat fish on Thanksgiving?
Because Thanksgiving never falls on a Fry-Day (Friday).
Rich people eat what on Thanksgiving?
14 karats [carrots]
Why was Plymouth Rock so brave?
It was a little bold-er.
Hippies put what on their Thanksgiving potatoes?
Groovy
Teddy bears have what in common with turkeys?
Both have stuffing
Why was the quarterback crying during the game?
Because he was playing Foot-Bawl
The Mayflower weighed how much?
A Puri-TON
What sound does a turkey’s phone make?
“Wing! Wing!”
On which holiday do you play a lot of jokes on people?
Pranks-giving
The pilgrims’ cows came to America on what ship?
The Mooooo-flower
What do monsters have on their Thanksgiving table?
Knives, Forks and Goons
When the early settlers got sick, what did they take?
PILL - grims
Why are so many new cars sold around Thanksgiving time?
It’s a good time to buy an AUTUMN-mobile.
What is big and green and goes “gobble, gobble?”
Turkey-saurus Rex
After Thanksgiving dinner, where did the pilgrims put their trash?
In the Mayflower Compact-Tor.
Where should you bury your Thanksgiving potatoes (if they die)?
In a GRAVE-y
Which side of the turkey has the juiciest meat?
The inside.
Which Thanksgiving food has grandchildren?
The Gran-berry Sauce
At Thanksgiving dinner, which had should you use to butter your roll with?
Neither. You use a knife, silly!
What’s inside a genie’s turkey?
3 wishbones
What do you wear to Thanksgiving dinner?
A Har- VEST
What’s the sleepiest thing at the Thanksgiving table?
NAP- kins
What does a golfer like to eat on Thanksgiving?
PAR- tatoes
What did the pilgrims have to clean after the first Thanksgiving dinner?
Mess- achussetts
What do policemen eat on Thanksgiving?
Corn on the cop
What does a baseball player put under his plate at Thanksgiving dinner?
A Place-MITT
The selfish pilgrims came to America on what ship?
The Me-Me-Me Flower
What football game is played on Thanksgiving?
The GRAVEY Bowl
What game is played after eating too much at Thanksgiving dinner?
Moan-nopoly.
Which month is a tailor’s least favorite?
No-HEM-ber
What did Miles Standish say after the first Thanksgiving meal?
BURP!
When a turkey picks his nose, what comes out?
A Gobble-Goober
What’s bigger: A Football or A Baseball?
Neither. They’re the same. They both have 8 LETTERS in them.
What would a British person gain by eating a Thanksgiving meal?
Pounds
What does Frosty the Snowman eat on Thanksgiving?
Cold- Slaw
What do goldfish say on Thanksgiving?
Happy TANKS-giving
Which pilgrim cut the turkey at the first Thanksgiving feast?
John Carver
What does a mother present say to the kid present on Thanksgiving?
Keep your el-BOWS off the table!
What female is always asked to say the Thanksgiving blessing?
Grace
What do arithmetic teachers do on Thanksgiving?
Count their blessings
How many cranberries grow on a bush?
All of them
Why did mom save some turkey for tomorrow?
She didn’t want it to go to waist.
What do ghosts eat on Thanksgiving?
Hot ghosted-ed turkey
Why did the Thanksgiving basket get in trouble at school?
It was caught Cornu-copying!
What does Godzilla eat on Thanksgiving?
Squash
On the Thanksgiving, what’s always in the middle of the table?
The letter “B”
Which Thanksgiving beverage is sad?
Apple Sigh- der
What did the pilgrims use to bake cakes?
May- flour
Why is Thanksgiving such an intelligent holiday?
Because it’s in KNOW-vember
Why do you go to grandmother’s house on Thanksgiving?
Because the house won’t come to you!
What’s a baby turkey called?
A Peeping Tom
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